My pregnancy [10th month]

Dear Reader, This blog series is written in the present tense. This is because I wrote these articles monthly during my pregnancy as a kind of diary. In the meantime, my pregnancy is already over and I am gathering strength again in the postpartum period. During this time, this blog series should accompany you. And now I hope you enjoy reading!

My pregnancy is coming to an end so slowly, or rather rather quickly. On the one hand, I can hardly wait to finally hold my baby in my arms, on the other hand, I still enjoy the intimate moments with my son and my husband. And I love my baby bump. As annoying as it is sometimes at the moment, I know that I will miss it very quickly.

At the beginning of the 10th month of pregnancy, I get a call from my midwife in Bremen. I am surprised that she calls and have a funny feeling right away. The feeling is confirmed. She tells me that her team partner, with whom she takes turns on call, cannot attend any births in the near future. As a result, she cannot accompany me at a home birth in Oldenburg, nor can any other midwife from the birth center in Bremen. She offers me to come to the birth center in Bremen for the birth. I am upset and feel the dream of my birth bursting.

I discuss everything with my husband and we find another solution. We want to try it alone at home first. If we would feel unsafe, we want to go to Bremen to the birth center. However, we would take our son with us in that case. I just can't imagine leaving him in Oldenburg.

So I arrange a prenatal appointment with the other midwife, who will also do a lot of the on-call work. At the appointment, she would also do the educational talk with us. Only my husband would come to the appointment. The whole educational talk is pressuring me. I can't even describe why, but I don't feel comfortable. I also don't get on the same wavelength with the other midwife. I realize that after the appointment. I think, together with my husband, for a few more days about what we will do. I then call my midwife in Bremen and explain to her that birth in a birth center is out of the question for me.

At about the same time, my midwife here in Oldenburg offers to take over the on-call duty for us, because for other reasons she will not cancel her insurance in the summer after all. I am very relieved about this and so is my husband. Without her acceptance, we probably would have tried it alone at home. But even now, the plan is not to call her until I no longer feel comfortable or safe on my own.

Also, just to be prepared for any eventuality, I'm making an appointment at the hospital for birth registration in case things don't work out at home at all. However, this appointment puts incredible pressure and stress on me. Before the appointment, I still write a birth plan with everything that is important to me for my birth.

When I am in the hospital I have an oppressive feeling. It feels strange to return to the place of my son's birth for the first time. The midwife who has the conversation with me is very nice and yet I can tell that her daily routine of births is so different from what I want. She also wants me to have an ultrasound to check for the cesarean scar. This sonogram is being done by the same doctor who operated on me when Noah was born and I'm not feeling well. She is pretty rough on me. In the conversation she scares me and tells me that it can quickly become life-threatening for me and my baby if I want to have my baby at home. One of the reasons I have largely avoided exams this pregnancy... Sure, something can happen. But something can ALWAYS happen. No matter where I am or what I'm doing. Anyway, I'm glad when the appointment is finally over.

During this month of pregnancy, I also avoid sugar and white flour products as much as possible because it could inhibit contractions. This is quite difficult for me in between. I also eat dates every day until I can't see them anymore at some point.

I also have strong practice contractions and sinking contractions every now and then. One night these contractions are so strong and regular that I call my midwife thinking birth is starting. She examines me and then the disappointment that all that labor, hours of it, was just for practice. I'm glad when the contractions subside and I can sleep some more.

In the checkups with my midwife everything is fine. At the checkup on the expected date (ET), my midwife also writes a CTG. Again, everything is unremarkable. In three days (ET+3) I would have to visit my gynecologist again, if I should still be pregnant then.

Overall, I am enjoying this last month of pregnancy very intensively. I carry my big ones, we cuddle a lot and I take time for myself. I'm taking very sporadic consultations now, resting a lot. And I wish that it would finally start. By the time I reach the calculated date, my son is also on kindergarten vacation and the days are getting quite long and exhausting.

I am also having strong contractions now and again and at ET+2 they are pulling quite a bit in the back, which I haven't had before. The contractions are still infrequent and very irregular and yet I can feel something is different. My big guy is at a friend's house from kindergarten in the afternoon so I can rest a bit. That does me good. Towards evening, the contractions get a little stronger and at night they are finally long and regular. At some point my husband calls my midwife and after the examination I am very relieved: This is birth! Tonight or tomorrow morning I would finally hold our baby in my arms.