Cleaning aids in the postpartum period
When you hold a child in your arms, it's naturally a great feeling. In the first few minutes of toting it around, a cocktail of feelings of pride, care and pure love overflows, just waiting to be absorbed by the child like mother's milk. Nothing gives a child as much strength in the long run as love and care from parents. That's why I still enjoy carrying my child in my arms and gently rocking it back and forth when it's a bit excited or just needs to be close. After a few minutes of carrying, however, there was always another feeling: hunger. Thirst. Or the need to go to the bathroom. In addition, it does not rest well, while the apartment threatens to sink into chaos. Yes, I know, in the postpartum period you should leave the household. But every now and then you should wipe the sideboard with a cloth. My child was not yet 5 weeks old, when I suddenly had the idea. In wise foresight that I and especially my child would love to be carried, I bought a baby carrier system and since then it was in the closet and just waiting to be used.
One day, when I was again in the dilemma of feeling something like thirsty and the child was asleep in the crook of my arm, I went gently rocking into the nursery and got the carrier out of the closet. I watched a babywearing tutorial on YouTube and fiddled with the thing until it fit snugly. Then I strapped my now loudly protesting child to my belly and jerked around until I felt it fit properly. The result was impressive. Not only did my child fall asleep contentedly in my cleavage after no more than two minutes-I rediscovered the long-forgotten feeling of arm freedom. It was simply liberating. I had two free hands again and immediately went to work. Cooked me tea and cleaned up. After an hour of busy cleaning, at least the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom were in acceptable condition again and I was completely satisfied. The child was still sleeping.
I enjoyed the regained freedom so much that I now tried to bring the household back to shape every day in addition to baby care. Completely rushed I wandered from room to room and cleaned, rearranged and tidied up. Meanwhile, my child was blissfully asleep and didn't notice my cleaning campaign. After three days of what felt like basic renovation, I already reaped the reward for my overzealousness. I got a nice chest infection, and when it was over and I was back to my usual household chores, a nasty cold followed. My postpartum midwife had little sympathy for this, instead just chidingly saying, "The postpartum always brings you back." Meaning: if you don't take it easy in the postpartum period, sooner or later your body will force you to. With unpleasant consequences. My child was only six weeks old and I got the punishment for wanting to get back to the grind too quickly. The other day I read an article about the postpartum period in which the author called for more courage to rest and do nothing. In other cultures this is common practice, but in my environment it was something like a sign of weakness. I made just about every mistake you can make in the postpartum period. There was no such thing as resting, taking it easy, or "letting my guard down". I was so rushed and mechanical that I really messed up the first weeks with my child. If I had used the freedom I had regained to make tea or dinner or just to wipe down the sideboard, it probably wouldn't have been a problem. But it didn't stop there. I wanted to prove to everyone how well I had everything under control after just a few weeks.
But you also read other advice in such great guidebooks for young mothers: "Treat yourself, you've earned it. Read something nice, order something to eat, but don't forget your relationship and take at least an hour out just for yourself, go about your usual caregiving rituals, socialize with like-minded people, and most importantly: enjoy the time when your child is asleep and best of all, sleep then yourself." This all reads like a beautiful Rosamunde Pilcher novel, but just like that, it's all utter nonsense. Give yourself a treat- my ass! I admit I was too ambitious, especially in my generally poor physical condition, yes my overzealousness was bound to go wrong. But how the heck am I supposed to treat myself, take time off, do my child justice AND get enough sleep? I thought about it often and came to the conclusion that this guidebook was certainly not written by a mother. Or at least whose motherhood was several years ago and couldn't remember how impossibly exhausting it was.
I did learn an important lesson from it all, though:
- Postpartum is called it because it's supposed to happen mostly in bed.
- The household can kiss my ass.
- Carrying is supposed to make the life of the baby and the mother easier and more relaxed- NOT cleaner.
The stretcher I use now well and gladly for walks and errands,- but not to meet my or excessive demands. However, should there be a carrier that can also clean, I am willing to reconsider my attitude. If I want to make myself a cup of tea today, I just make myself a cup of tea, right after I've put the child death-defyingly down in its playpen. I put up with the complaining. Just like the fact that there is a mountain of laundry in the bathroom for a day and the windows are not cleaned. To make up for it, my son gets a more relaxed mom and an extra carry cuddle session. It's that simple.
This post is a guest post. The author Anne Tinius also has her own blog, so if you like her writing, check her out.